051: The Courage to Connect: Transforming Networking into Authentic Relationships

Mica: [00:00:00] Welcome. To the 51st episode of The Savory Shot, a podcast dedicated to the art and soul of working in food photography. Y'all know who I be. I'm your host with the most, Mica McCook.

For those joining us for the first time, I'm a food photographer born and based in the vibrant, city of Austin, Texas. If you are from Texas, live in Texas, have been to Texas, come holla at your girl. But if you haven't been to Texas, you're missing out on some great barbecue. So, fix that.

Okay. Thanks. First off, thank you for tuning in today. Whether you're a seasoned food photographer, aspiring artist, or someone who simply loves food and photography. I am so glad y'all here. I'm not gonna waste any time y'all. I'm gonna get right into it. I am so excited about this episode because we are talking about [00:01:00] something that's super duper important in our industry, networking.

All right, before y'all come for me, I know what you're thinking. The word networking often gets thrown around a lot. It's like a little tennis ball that just goes back and forth, back and forth. And it can sound pretty vague, right? It's one of those buzzwords that people just love to use.

You got to network. Don't forget to network. But what does it really mean? How do you do it effectively? Maybe I should bring someone on here who is like a networking guru, like a dating coach, but for networking. Okay, new idea. I'm bringing someone on for this. Believe me, I understand the frustration. It drives me insane when people loosely throw it out there without any real explanation or practical advice. So I am really just going to talk about my experience and what people have told me about their experiences with networking.

But [00:02:00] I guess for this episode, I just want to share what's worked for me, both online and offline.

One thing I've learned is that networking doesn't have to be this intimidating, abstract concept. It really is about building genuine relationships, connecting with people who share your interest and finding ways to support each other. But y'all, before we get into that, grab your favorite beverage. Get a coffee, get a cocktail, if it's been that kind of day, some tea, settle in and get ready for an episode packed with insights and inspiration. I'm so glad y'all are here. I can't wait to get started. So let's start the show.

[00:03:00]

Mica: So let me ask y'all this. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the idea of networking? Yeah, me too. Like where do [00:04:00] you even start? Why should you care? Who do you talk to? How do you talk to them? Friends? How do you build friends?

They say, don't be so obvious, but also be obvious. Like what? I don't understand any of that. So I'm here to tell you that networking doesn't have to be scary or complicated. Now you young thundercats might not be able to relate but for the folks in the 35 and over bracket, is it me or did we all just forget how to make friends after we turn 30?

Cause I forgot y'all. The first meeting, it's all about the small talk. I'm just right into trauma bonding. I'm like, look, let's skip right past and get to the meat and potatoes. Are we going to be besties? Have you had some shit happen to you? I don't want to talk about, the buffet bar or some crap.

I don't want to talk about the weather. I hate small talk. I want to know what your sign is, if you've been divorced, what trauma you've experienced.

Like this is going to be one of those counseling sessions. I've had to [00:05:00] relearn all the ways of reaching out and making friends in my 30s. And I feel like the same tactics, the same skills of making friends is. It applies in networking, so I will say this. I hate networking. I truly do. I hate networking events.

I hate going to them. I hate the invites, which please keep inviting me though, y'all. For anyone listening, keep inviting me. But really, it causes me so much anxiety and it feels like I'm at the dentist for a root canal. But I still do it. I still go to networking events. I still network online.

I still network offline. I do it because it's crucial. Y'all know that in the food photography world and just in the commercial industry in general, it's not what you know, it's who you know. Networking has really been crucial for me. It's helped me land clients. Networking has helped me learn new skills. [00:06:00] It's helped me connect with amazing people in the industry from portfolio reviews. Like networking is just everything. It really is everything. But it also sucks to do. So I just want to talk about some things that really have helped me.

And maybe it'll help you too. I don't know. And if it doesn't, then I don't know. I'll, I'll buy you a Coca Cola. That's all I got. I'll buy you a Coca Cola.

We'll see. I make no promises.

Mica: Let's talk about networking events.

They can be super intimidating, especially if you are like me and have social anxiety. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers, trying to start a conversation and hoping to make a good impression, man, that's overwhelming. I remember one time I went to a networking event.

[00:07:00] I realized that I had like a little eye booger and I took it out right in front of the person that I was talking to and their eyes kind of widened a little bit and I went, Oh, shit. I completely left the event because I thought that that person was going to go around telling everybody don't talk to her.

She has eye boogers and she picks them right in front of her. Like, it's ridiculous, but really that's what social anxiety does for you. It's hard for me to talk to people in big crowds. I can talk on stage. No problemo, but to talk to a group of strangers is scary.

I become a shell of myself and no one gets to truly meet the real me, which for those who know me in real life, and for anyone who follows this podcast, you know your girl is pretty extroverted. I like cracking jokes. I'm very personable. You don't see any of that when I go to a networking event, which is why I bring a wing person with me.

My friend Ana, shout [00:08:00] out to my friend Ana. I always bring my friend Ana with me to these events because Ana is my partner in crime. Whenever I walk into a networking event with her by my side, I feel immediately a sense of relief. Like she's my security blanket in a way, but more than anything, Ana's a great icebreaker. That is her skill. She has this amazing ability to strike up conversations and make people feel at ease, which in turn puts me in such a positive place. Ana's presence also helps me feel more confident. There's just something incredibly reassuring about having someone by your side who knows you well and understands your anxieties.

If I start to feel overwhelmed or lost for words. Ana is there to jump in and keep the conversation flowing. She's great at asking engaging questions and finding [00:09:00] common ground with people we meet. And it's because she knows me so well that she can also steer the conversation towards topics that I'm comfortable discussing.

If you struggle with social anxiety or you find networking events daunting, I highly, highly recommend bringing someone with you, someone you trust to these events.

It makes a world of a difference. But don't just bring anybody, okay? You need to bring someone who is an actual wing person. They have a job to do. They need to introduce you to, to people like that is the job of a wing person. Because I tell you what, having a wing person can transform a stressful nerve wracking experience into something much more enjoyable and productive.

You don't have to face the crowd alone. And having that support can give you the confidence boost you need to make meaningful connections. But again, don't bring anybody. You [00:10:00] need to bring someone who is actually good at networking, who is good at connecting, striking conversations, that they're not just going to stay in whatever little bubble you enter the networking event with.

They're going to get you to talk to people. That's the kind of wing person you need. Last year, Ana and I attended the grand opening of a new restaurant here in Austin, and it was so much fun. I wouldn't have gone if it weren't for her. I get a lot of invites from various places. Inviting me to restaurant openings, and I usually don't go because I don't have anybody to go with, but she went with me and it was so much fun.

So it was a hot afternoon, super humid outside. We were seated outside of an outdoor table and we were just enjoying ourselves, enjoying the food and enjoying the drinks. Ana noticed that the gentleman sitting at the table next to us had several people approaching him at different points throughout the day.[00:11:00]

So clearly he was somebody muy importante. Ana being her observant and curious and nosy self, she leaned over and she called out the man's name because she heard them calling his name several times. And she said, excuse me, so and so, I noticed people keep coming to your table. You must be a big deal around here.

Can I ask what you do? The man looked up because he heard his name, and then he realized that it was Ana talking to him. He was like, a little bit surprised, but also amused that this stranger called him by his name. And he responded that he owned the restaurant. Ana immediately struck up a conversation with him.

She praised the restaurant, she talked about the food, she talked about the staff who are all freaking gorgeous. Like seriously, everyone that works there look like a freaking model. She then tells him, have you met my friend Mica? She's a food photographer.

She's the entire reason why we're here. The guy raised his eyebrows, he looked at me, and he kind of like shifted his attention to me, and then he started asking me questions about my work. And we ended up having this great conversation about food [00:12:00] photography, the local food scene, and the challenges and joys of running a restaurant.

By the end of our conversation, he asked for my business card, and he expressed interest in working together on future projects. This was a fantastic opportunity that I might have missed if it weren't for Ana's boldness and her social skills, her ability to engage with others and create a friendly atmosphere, it opened a door for me that evening.

And another example, I attended the Austin Food and Wine Festival and I brought Ana with me. And throughout the festival, she continued to introduce me to other people at the event, making sure I felt comfortable. She included me in conversations. She handed out my business card like nobody's business.

She also reminded me to stay hydrated, encouraged me to, take breaks when I needed. Just helped me navigate the social dynamics of the event. I had so much fun. The previous [00:13:00] year I went by myself and literally I talked to like five people and four of them worked for the festival.

So going with Ana last year was a wholly different experience and by the end I felt accomplished. I felt proud of the connections I had made. And all thanks to having Ana, my wing person with me. If you are feeling anxious about attending networking events, remember, you don't have to go alone.

You can bring a trusted friend who can provide the support and confidence you need to make the most of these opportunities.

But again, don't just bring anybody. Bring someone who is good at networking, who is skilled at networking. But let's talk about for those who don't have someone like Ana maybe you don't have a friend who's available or interested in attending these events with you, and that's okay. There are other ways to find support and build your confidence.

You can connect with people online before the event if you [00:14:00] have access to the guest list. So you can message them and say, Hey, I see that we're both attending this event. Maybe the two of us should meet up and we can be each other's wing person. Something I did a few years ago. I went to a networking event. I went on my personal Facebook. I posted, Hey, I'm here at this conference and I'm really nervous. What are some great networking tips, questions that you could pass on to me? And the feedback that I got from my friends and family.

It was wonderful. So that's something you can also do. Sometimes these events, they have like a Facebook group where they're started in Facebook groups. And if that's the case, as I said earlier, you might have access to the attendee list. You can send out a couple of messages, connect with people online first.

Because it really can make it easier to approach them in person. And if you've already broken the ice online, then you have something common to discuss. So let's say you don't have [00:15:00] access to the attendee list and you just have nobody to talk to.

I find that doing a 10 minute meditation before walking to events, it really makes me feel good. I just close my eyes, I focus on my breathing, I listen to some Enya music. You can listen to something else, whatever works for you. I do that in my car. I just breathe before going into these events.

No matter what you choose to do, whether you plan to bring a wing person with you, or if you're just like, no, if I bring a wing person, I'm not going to talk to anybody. It doesn't matter. No matter what, whatever you choose to do, remember to take breaks. It's okay to take a break. Networking events can be exhausting.

It's important to listen to your body, to your mind. If you start to feel overwhelmed, find a quiet corner, step outside for some fresh air, or take a moment to yourself. It's perfectly fine to take breaks, recharge before diving back into the crowd. If you have your wing person with you, just tell them, Hey, this is a little bit much.

I need [00:16:00] to go outside. Whatever it is, just listen to your body, be in tune with it. One thing I've learned over the years is that networking is not just about collecting the most business cards or having the most conversations. It's about making genuine connections and building relationships that can support you in your personal and professional journey.

So if you are having a conversation with someone and it's just not happening, it's just not going well, you can just say, Hey, thanks for your time, shake their hand and keep on keeping on and really connect with the people that you want to connect with. Quality over quantity. Always. Networking, y'all, it's an essential part of being in this industry, but it doesn't have to be daunting.

So bring a wing person with you to these industry events. You can create a more comfortable and supportive environment for yourself. This approach [00:17:00] not only helps ease social anxiety, but it also enhances your ability to make meaningful connections because you have this support, this person who knows you so your natural personality shines.

They get to meet the real you. So the next time you're gearing up for a networking event, consider inviting a friend to join you. It might just make all the difference.

I have been called the queen of the follow up because your girl loves a follow up. I am so on top of that. But really, the power of the follow up, y'all, that is where the real magic happens.

I'm not kidding. Here's the deal. You're not going to become best friends with someone at a networking event. If you do, it's kind of weird, but hey, it happens. Hasn't happened to me, but [00:18:00] oftentimes that's not the norm.

If you are not into small talk, well, you better get into it because that's kind of the norm at these events because they're busy, they're loud, they're sometimes chaotic, and it's hard to have a deep, meaningful conversation. That's not the goal when you go to these networking events. The goal is to spark a conversation, make a connection, and then follow up later to nurture that initial interaction into a potential relationship.

Think about it this way. When you meet someone at a networking event, it's like planting a seed. A seed. I know. I know that's such a generic description, but I don't know how else to describe it. It really is. It's like planting a seed and that seed has the potential to grow into this fruitful relationship, but it needs care.

It needs attention. You're not going to meet someone at a networking event and be like, [00:19:00] hi, hire me. And then you immediately get hired. No, no, no, no, no. The followup is the watering. It's the sunlight that helps that seed grow. Without it, the connection you made is going to wither. It's going to die. It's going to freeze off in the winter.

It's little nuggets of connection. And if there's anything that I've learned so far as, as a photographer is that persistence pays off. It really does. Keep your follow ups polite, keep them respectful, but follow up. Now, let's dive into why the follow up is so important and what it can lead to.

Mica: Networking events, they are like a whirlwind. You meet a lot of people, you have a lot of conversations, you exchange lots of business cards. It's easy for the initial excitement to fade away. The follow up keeps the momentum going.

It turns a brief encounter into a meaningful conversation. Did you [00:20:00] know that a lot of people don't follow up and you following up makes you stand out in the crowd?So when you follow up, you are differentiating yourself from the crowd.

You're standing out from the crowd. It shows that you're proactive and you're serious about building relationships. Really though, what's the point of going to these networking events if you're not going to follow up? Following up can make a lasting impression so that the next time you see that person, you're on a first name basis with them.

So how do you go about the follow up? Here are some practical steps. For one thing, timing is everything. Do not follow up with someone five years after meeting them. Okay, The first rule is to follow up promptly. Do it, do it promptly. Reach out within 24 to 48 hours. 48 hours being the max after the event. If you wait too long, the person's not going to know who you are. They're not going to care. Especially they met a bunch of people at the event. [00:21:00] So 24 to 48 hours follow up right then and there send a quick message. It should be personal. It should be thoughtful, but it should also get to the point.

Start by expressing your gratitude for the conversation. Mention something specific that you talked about to, you know, jog their memory. Again, they met a lot of people, so they might forget. For example, you say, Hey, so and so, it was so great meeting you at this event. I really enjoyed our conversation about, I don't know, hot dogs.

and then you suggest a next step. The follow up shouldn't just be a thank you note. It should suggest a next step to keep the conversation going. This could be a coffee meeting, a video call, or, attending another event together. So, for example, I'd love to continue our conversation about hot dogs.

Would you be available for coffee next week? Something I've also have gotten lots of success with is by providing value. Because value in your followup [00:22:00] can make a big impact. This could be a useful article related to the conversation you had, or a contact you promised to share or a tip that could help them with the project.

Providing value, it shows that you're not just interested in what you can gain. Cause obviously that's what this is all about, but also, how you can help them. It's kind of like Janet Jackson, where she says, what have you done for me lately? Well, I did this boo, I shared this article with you, I shared this tip with you, I shared this contact with you, I provided value.

The other thing that I have found success with is being genuine. Your follow up should reflect your genuine interest in getting to know the person better. People can usually tell when someone is being insincere. So when you're like on the big bus and you're like, Oh, hey, it was so great meeting you. I really enjoyed our conversation.

Uh, Kay, what did we talk about? The other thing is use multiple channels. [00:23:00] You don't have to just send an email, although I've gotten more success with the email, but depending on the context of your meeting, consider using different channels for your follow up. Email, obviously, standard. But you can also send a message on LinkedIn.

Maybe you follow each other on Instagram. Whatever you do, just know that the follow up is a critical component of effective networking. It is not enough to just meet people and then have a quick conversation.

You have to nurture those connections and see them grow. You're not going to meet someone at a networking event. They are not going to be so wowed and amazed by you that they immediately hire you for something. No, it is just a handshake. The follow up is where the real magic happens, so don't forget it, make it a priority, your future self will thank you.

[00:24:00]

Mica: We kind of covered this already in episode, I think it was 49 about self promotion, but this kind of ties into the power of the follow up. I like to celebrate other people's wins. When someone in your network wins an award, reaches a milestone, or does something awesome, make sure to acknowledge it. Share it and say, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you.

There's some people who are so great at this on Instagram, like they share, if something that they've been tagged in, they'll share it on their stories and they'll talk about what a wonderful experience it was. You need to share things that you're not tagged in. Celebrate the achievements of others.

It's not only a kind gesture, but also a powerful way to build and strengthen relationships, especially when you are congratulating someone. There's nothing in it for you. You have nothing to gain from this other than being super supportive. These small [00:25:00] acts of kindness, it shows that you are genuinely interested in their success and it strengthens your relationship.

Networking isn't just about what you can get. It's about what you can give. Again, I'm a quote Janet Jackson. What have you done for me lately? But seriously, this genuine interest, it fosters goodwill. And it creates a sense of mutual respect and appreciation. Nothing screens a positive queen or king like someone celebrating others recognition, others success. It shows that you are confident in yourself, you're not so insecure that you can't celebrate other people.

When one person wins, we all win. That's the mindset that you have to operate by. And when you celebrate others, they'll remember you for it. And they'll celebrate you when you accomplish something.

The next time someone in your network achieves something great, take a moment to celebrate their success and [00:26:00] believe you me, they will celebrate you when you succeed at something.

This small act can have a big impact. So do the damn thing, y'all.

Mica: One thing's for sure. Building relationships is tough, and that's basically what networking is, but with these tips, you can make it a lot easier and even more enjoyable, I think. I, I think so. Networking can often feel like an overwhelming task. I know that a lot of people just don't bother with it because it's too much.

And the mere thought of putting yourself out there, meeting new people, and trying to make a lasting impression, like, forget it. Forget about it. I want you to know that it's natural to feel apprehensive. It's natural to feel like you want to put the brakes and [00:27:00] go, eh, not doing that. But networking doesn't have to be that way, doesn't have to be this unenjoyable experience.

In fact, with the right approach, the right mindset, it can become fulfilling. Maybe enjoyable part of your professional journey. You can bring a friend, follow up, celebrate other successes. I think these three strategies can transform the way you approach networking and help you build meaningful and lasting work relationships.

But that's all for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you found these tips helpful and you feel more confident about networking, building a strong professional network.

What do they say? Your network is your net worth. It's a journey. But I think it's incredibly rewarding when approached with the right mindset and the right strategies. Till next time y'all, thanks for listening. [00:28:00]